I am by nature a planner, an Enneatype 1(well-organized and purposeful). As with any personality type, the problems come when positive traits reign unchecked. Type 1s can easily become micromanagers.
My list gave me a sense of control. I loved nothing better than marking off the items to give me a sense of accomplishment. But as my list grew and grew, it grew out of control. I adhered to it so rigidly that I couldn't be spontaneous in any activity. If I was invited to lunch on a day when I planned to work on my blog, I wouldn't go. My day was divided into a series of chores many of which were non-essential.
For the first time in my life, I have very little that must be done on a particular day at a particular time. For a lister, this is a major adjustment. Of course, I have to keep appointments, but nothing says I have to go to yoga at noon. Nothing says I have to go to yoga at all. If I intended to clean my closet and don't finish, it can be done another day. Yet, I feel guilty and unproductive if I accomplish nothing. I am finding it difficult to go from a human-doing to a human-being.
Joan Chittister in "The Gift of Years" says that freedom from the tyranny of a rigid schedule comes with wisdom and age–when we can finally step off the hamster wheel. But like any slave to habit, I'm afraid to take the step.
This is a typical to-do list from several weeks ago:
1. Be more spontaneous.
2. Stop and smell the roses.
3. Stop measuring my worth by my accomplishments.
4. Learn to appreciate this season of life.
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