When Facebook Becomes Toxic

I like Facebook. At best, it is a marvelous marketing tool and a connector of people with similar interests. I love keeping up with friends, seeing pictures of old schoolmates, and hearing about the activities of far-off relatives. I get new recipes, healthy living tips, and book recommendations. During this pandemic, particularly, it provides a connection that helps me feel less isolated. 

At worst, it is a colossal waste of time, a tool for procrastination, and a source of tremendous stress. Facebook exposure can even lead to a newly identified malady—Facebook depression. Although unrecognized by the American Psychological Association :),  the Urban Dictionary defines it thus:

“When you're on Facebook and see your friends looking like they're living amazing lives while you're feeling like you're just barely making it and you become sadder and sadder with each update you see.”

Facebook provides a digital replacement for the much-maligned, often ridiculed, stereotypical Christmas newsletter. You know the kind:

 

We had to cut our trip to Rome short to make it home in time for little John’s graduation from Harvard. Hard to believe he’s our third to graduate magna cum laude from an Ivy League school. Deidre is enjoying married life and so grateful that she can be a stay at home mom since Gottfried sold the business to Dell last year. Both of the grandchildren will be in camps this summer—Hermione at Interlochen and Sebastian at the Duke Early Talent Identification Program. You may have read about Oliver’s grant for cancer research. We’re so proud of him. Just hoping they can all find time to visit us in the Hamptons this summer.


If your mood takes a plummet after a stint on FB, you might try:

1. Limiting your exposure. Facebook can be addictive. You don’t need to get on every day. Try every other day or once a week or you might even consider abstinence.

2. Clean out your friend list. If there are particular people whose posts rub you the wrong way, temporarily block them. The gag reflex is a good measure of which friends should go.

3. Find some new “friends.” Search for pages that have a positive effect. 

4. Don’t feel guilty if reading about others’ good fortune is difficult. There are times when you have to protect yourself by separating from anything or anyone who brings you down—intentionally or more often, thoughtlessly.